Writer Confidence: Staying Inspired when Your Ideas Get Shot Down

In this letter, Gina discusses a familiar sting: when someone dismisses your creative work and maybe even doubts your ability to make money from it. Building creative confidence, and in this case writer confidence, starts with protecting your inspiration by using thoughtful discernment in who you choose to share it with.

When our creative pursuits, ideas, or projects get shot down, it can be an opportunity – first, for feeling the feelings, and then grounding deeper in order to keep moving forward. Here Gina writes about turning doubt into strength, celebrating even modest wins and developing connections with supportive friends in your life who encourage your vision.

Dear Gina,

I am an aspiring writer. I’ve been at it for several years with moderate success. My question is about what to do when people ask me about my work.

For example, my husband and I were at dinner with some friends last week. One of them asked me about my latest project, and when I told him, his response was, “There aren’t very many people making any money at that.” My feelings were really hurt. I’ve thought about that conversation over and over, and each time I replay it I have a snappy comeback. But, really, I was so stunned I muttered something about pursuing it anyway and then changed the subject. 

What do you suggest in these situations? This isn’t the first time someone has shot down an idea. I’m getting tired of being bruised when I should be among supportive friends or family. What would you do?

Signed,

Dear Sir or Madam, Will You Read my Book?

Oh, Dear Dear,

I wonder how qualified your friend was to offer his take on the potential revenue to come from your project? There’s an epidemic of people who offer opinions about topics they know nothing about. Big sigh.

Handling Criticism as an Aspiring Writer

I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by your friend’s response. Artists—and you are an artist—are subjected to this kind of comment all the time. It’s hard for people to imagine making money at what they judge to not be a “real job.” You describe your status as an aspiring writer with “moderate success,” so I take it that your pursuit of this vocation has earned some income, but hasn’t resulted in a financial windfall. That’s been my experience, too. There are writers making good money doing what they love. So, my question is: Why can’t it be you? Or me?

That same question would be my response to your friend, though I’m not sure I could have pulled it out in the moment, either. My suggestion on how to handle these situations: don’t let yourself get in them – at least, avoid them as much as possible.

Be very selective about the people with whom you share your ideas. Your inspirations are precious, and should be treated as such.

Some people don’t get what a writer does, and when we try to explain, it’s just too hard to get their heads around. Walk into a bookstore, and you see the tangible results of the process. Talk about it while you’re in process, and they shake their heads, wondering, “How will you make money at that?”

Developing a Writing Career

The money question is one of the quickest ways ideas get shot down. Artists must balance necessary income and pursuing their craft. Ideally, the two are one and the same, or at least overlap. If that’s not the case right now, it’s a worthy goal.

While writing demands solitude, we never create in a vacuum. Choreographer Twyla Tharp writes:

“Creative work is a marathon run in solitude — but you only make it to the finish line because people handed you water along the way.”

Reaching the finish line hinges on discerning whose offering of “water” truly replenishes you through the vulnerable miles (like when an idea is new, or courage is low). Notice who gives you energy that sustains your inspiration, rather than draining it – those are the people who will help you get where you want to go.

Finding Supportive Friends

As you’ve pursued your writing career, you’ve met people who get what you are doing. Hang with those people, and with people who are doing work you admire as an aspiring writer. That energy is so encouraging, especially when you’re feeling low or have an idea that’s just emerging, and still in a vulnerable stage.

Of course, this isn’t about spending time with people who only tell you nice things. There is certainly a difference between empty praise and truly constructive feedback, and the latter is crucial for creative development.

People who believe in your story

Supportive friends, mentors, editors or other people who are invested both in you as the writer, and in the content of what you are writing, is an essential piece of growing a sustainable writing career. These people will approach your work with genuine care and an open mind. This type of connection creates a space where encouragement thrives on a foundation of trust; where honest critique can be offered in good faith, and where it’s easy to disarm any defensiveness that may come up in the process. Author Anne Lamott writes,

“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story. Supportive people are the ones who hand you coffee and say, ‘Now tell it to us.'”

Real Writer Confidence

Real “writer confidence” has roots and leaves – the leaves above, a canopy of supportive people, providing nourishment from outside: encouragement, constructive feedback, and the reassurance that someone else believes in what you’re creating. But equally vital are the roots below: your own grounded relationship with your work and a practice of celebrating yourself along the way.

This internal grounding is cultivated over time when you pause to acknowledge your accomplishments, however modest they may seem. You grow the trust you have in yourself, and by extension, your confidence, every time you return to the work itself. This is especially true when doubt creeps in – remembering why you started, what you’ve already built, and the writer you’re becoming through the process. The skeptic at the dinner party only holds power if you lose touch with these things.

When this network of leaves and roots are strong, something shifts: you develop a confidence that doesn’t depend on anyone’s approval, yet is genuinely enriched by connection with those who support your vision. You can walk into any room, whether filled with champions of your work or casual doubters, standing on solid ground.

Looking for a Supportive Editor?

Whenever you’re writing, there are always two creations in the making: the story itself, and who you become in the process. An editor who understands the writing life, the manuscript, and who can give clear, motivating guidance is what writers need to become authors. If you’re interested in learning about my approach or offerings, you can read up on previous Success Stories or current Editing Services.